Platitudes: Toxic Positivity

I wasn’t sure if I’d be blogging on this brisk May Monday, but when this filtered into my Facebook newsfeed this morning, I knew I had some writing fodder.

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A while ago I wrote this post, in which I mentioned the very platitudes that some well-meaning people use because they their intention is to uplift someone who is in a deep, dark pit of despair.

Over the weekend I was faced with a situation where a friend needed an ear.  I’d had a feeling for a while something is amiss, and while I said as much, I didn’t press the issue.  Turns out (s)he has been trying to be strong for a very long time, but things got too much.  I encouraged him/her to just get the feelings out, and while talking doesn’t magically make all the issues disappear into the same place single socks and Tupperware lids end up, sometimes just talking about things gives a little bit of perspective.  I’m wary of offering advice, because my pigs aren’t all in their pen and our situations differ, but (s)he asked me what I would do if I was in his/her situation.  My reply (rather wise, I think) was I’m also not going to try and make you feel better with platitudes because in a situation where one is really hurting, they can illicit a negative reaction, rather than a positive one.  The only advice I do have is to do something daily that is for you and try to keep at it.

I could have given her a whole list of platitudes, which I’ve personally had said to me since my episode:

This too shall pass

Practice an attitude of gratitude

It is what it is

Every cloud has a silver lining

Happiness is an inside job

God never gives us more than we can handle

Everything you want is on the other side of fear

Every one of these old chestnuts has been tossed my way and while there is truth in all of them, I’ve sometimes perceived the person saying them to be insensitive.  I’m not sure if they’ve felt the need to fill the silence, and maybe I’m totally wrong in my thinking, but there is no need to always answer verbally.  Sometimes just a hand squeeze, or a hug is enough; especially in the times we live in, where physical contact seems to be diminishing.

Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox for now.

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On other news, I have my last PT sessions with Steve this week but in five weeks I’ve had results, so I’m seriously considering another ten if finances will allow.  Tarryn cut and highlighted my hair on Saturday and on top of that, she gave me some jeans that actually fit and show that I do indeed have an ass.  I’m rocking my new hair and my smaller body!  The first pic was taken by Tarryn, the rest by Harriet at her place yesterday after brunch and window-shopping.

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Right, that’s all for now.  Here’s to what promises to be an interesting week, particularly as us South Africans head off to the polls on Wednesday and to Wimpy afterwards for a free coffee.

 

Pro-Active Approaches

Work has been more stressful than usual the past few days, which besides getting my panties in a knot, has left me extremely demotivated.  Yesterday I hit my first (of many I assure you) 12-hour day.  Add on a twenty minute commute to and from work, and you can call it 13 hours…

I got home last night to literally eat my supper, watch Dr Who and fall asleep.  I was exhausted.

So, I decided to try to do something pro-active to motivate myself and went looking for quotations on the internet about things that are important to me, as well as for me to get a pack on the back for a job well done.

They are:

Vision

Determination

Courage

Success

Achievement

I found two quotations for each heading and have typed them out in bright, happy colours, laminated them and put them up on my wall, to remind me that a positive attitude towards my goals will allow me to reach them.  I thought it would be good to share them with BlogLand too so that the sunshine can be spread.

VISION

The people who constantly rise to the top are those who possess a vision before the prize is won.  They see the triumph before anyone else.  (John Maxwell)

Leaders establish the vision for the for the future and set the strategy for getting there; they cause change.  They motivate and inspire others to go in the right direction and they, along with everyone else, sacrifice to get there. (John Kotter)

DETERMINATION

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all.  (Dale Carnegie)

The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.  (Vince Lombardi)

COURAGE

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. (Raymond Lindquist)

Courage is speaking your mind, even wehn your voice shakes. (Maggie Kuhn)

SUCCESS

Success is to be mesure not so much by the position that one has reacher in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. (Booker T Washington)

Most successful men have not achieved their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them.  They have developed the opportunity that was at hand. (Bruce Barton).

ACHIEVEMENT

All personal achievement starts in the mind of the individual.  Your personal achievement starts in your mind.  The first step is to know exactly what your problem, goal or desire is. (W Clement Stone)

Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress. (Nicholas Murray Butler).

Right that is that for the moment.  I have to go and join my team outside for a practice session.  The match is on Thursday.