Some days a person is the pigeon. Other days a person is the statue. Fact. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself, there is no escaping this simple truth of life.
Generally I like to think of myself as the pigeon. Not necessarily because I want to shit on the statue-people below, but simply because I like not being shit upon. Lately though, rotten luck has seemed to follow me around, as you will have read in my previous post.
First the liquidation, then the offer of a (somewhat) “forced” promotion, a colossal argument with my parents (12 years ago my mother tossed me out the house, and two years later took me back, now it’s déjà vu because my dad is starting to act the same way my mom did back then) and now this…
It was explained to us prior to the take-over that we would have to claim outstanding leave money against the liquidated estate, which we have duly done.
However, during a meeting with the liquidator this morning he told us that a maximum of R4000 will be paid out per claim to preferential creditors (apparently this is set out in the government gazette) and that the balance, if any, will be a pro-rated payout with the other concurrent creditors. This doesn’t really affect me too badly because after the R4000 is paid, I’m still owed R199,10.
It does however upset me that the old company is screwing everyone over because we were never told about this and every time someone wanted to take a day’s leave in lieu of a public holiday or Sunday worked, there appeared to be a reason why we couldn’t. There is one member of staff here who is owed over 30 days worth of leave pay (and it must be a stash of cash because she is very qualified and had been with the company for a long period of time), so effectively all she is going to get out is R4000, like all the rest of us and 40% of the balance, if she’s lucky…and that can take up to six months before it gets paid out.
Sometimes when I’m the statue for an expected period, I actually wish I could turn into stone, so I could just stop feeling the bad feelings. I’m tired of feeling hurt. I’m tired of feeling angry. I’m tired of feeling sad. I’m tired of feeling inadequate. I’m tired of feeling unworthy. I’m tired of feeling like I’m in the way.
Hell, I’m just tired. Tired of being…
Tired of being me.